Back To The Disaster: A SasoDei Memory
by AtomicArt
Summary: Deidara, while listening to one of his favorite bands, reflects upon his time with Sasori. Songfic to Sugarcult's "Memory", rated T to be safe, as always.


Yep, so now I'm pretty much just posting every document I find fit for xP This one, like the others, is something I did a while back; it's a songfic (obviously), because, I don't know, _Memory _seems to fit Sasori and Deidara well, and I personally love Sugarcult.

Also, I still don't know how to do the separating-authornotes-from-story thing. XDDD

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), or its characters (Sasori and Deidara), nor do I own the song "Memory" by Sugarcult.

I don't even own Sugarcult! TT-TT

**Description: **Deidara, while listening to one of his favorite bands, reflects upon his time with Sasori. Songfic to Sugarcult's "Memory", rated T to be safe, as always.

**Back To The Disaster: A SasoDei Memory**

Deidara sat alone in his room at Akatsuki, his overly-large headphones plastered to his ears. No one could take them off now; not while his favorite song was playing. He was sure no one would want to either, or they might find themselves blown to smithereens (the Akatsuki didn't know about his secret obsession with Sugarcult...music was, after all, an art).

As the first sounds of guitar chords floated into his ears, he found himself thinking of Sasori. Everyone thought he was emotionless, but they were wrong - Deidara and Sasori had fell in love a while back. It was actually very complicated, but somehow it had become an everyday thing...a hug, a kiss, or even sex. And Deidara wished so badly that he could cling to those memories.

_This may never start_

_We could fall apart_

_And I'd be your memory_

Deidara closed his eyes and listened closely to the lyrics. They fit so well - every well-constructed, beautiful word that Tim Pagnotta was singing into the blonde's ears reminded him of his puppet love. As if the song was made for them, it sang out every moment from where they had started...

And every moment until they had finished.

_Lost your sense of fear_

_Feelings insincere_

_Can I be your memory?_

_"Yes, Sasori-Danna," _Deidara replied to the song in his mind, _"You already are, un." _He knew he would remember his danna forever. He didn't want to move on. He wouldn't. He tried to relax as the heartspoken chorus came into play, but he couldn't stop the horrible feeling that came into his throat, like a bird trying to escape a glass cage. All the cage did was reflect who the bird was - and the bird didn't want that. It wanted to see a new being in itself; to be free.

_So get back, back, back to where we lasted_

_Just like I imagined_

_I could never feel this way_

_So get back, back, back to the disaster_

_My heart's beating faster_

_Holding on to feel the same_

That last part of the chorus stung a bit, but it was truth. In Deidara's mind, he imagined him and Sasori embracing, trying to love away each other's past, trying to forget who they were and focus on the present. In a single touch, all of Deidara's worries would wash away and he'd feel so amazing. The bird that longed to take flight was still caged, but the glass of the cage had given him fake images of freedom, if only for a moment.

_This may never start _

_I'll tear us apart_

_Can I be your enemy?_

This part of the song especially reminded him of Sasori; of when they first met. Deidara had already fallen in love with Sasori by then, but the puppet-man was still unsure of his feelings and had pushed Deidara away. This resulted in many fractures to Deidara's heart, but he never gave up, and eventually, Sasori did.

_Losing half a year_

_Waiting for you here_

_I'd be your anything_

This was more of Deidara's part. Like his last thought, he had waited for Sasori to realize his love, never giving up. At this moment in their relationship, Deidara had long-since thrown away any questions or doubts about his feelings towards Sasori and had made it almost clear that he'd do anything for the redhead.

And then that dreaded chorus...

_So get back, back, back to where we lasted_

_Just like I'd imagine_

_I could never feel this way_

Deidara had had so much feeling for Sasori; he remembered (very clearly) the day when Sasori had first said the words "I love you."

_So get back, back, back to the disaster_

_My heart's beating faster_

_Holding on to feel the same_

Deidara's heart raced as he remembered each and every touch they shared, and each and every argument they had. He knew his danna never liked to argue (for he was very impatient), but Deidara just loved to push it.

So did Sasori, apparently. He didn't have to give it his all in that battle...he could've lived. And they'd still be together.

_This may never start_

_Tearing out my heart_

_And I'd be your memory._

But no, Sasori just had to die. That was his weakness; his only human part on his body. The thing that separated lust from love between the two: Sasori's heart.

_Lost your sense of fear,_

_Feelings disappear_

_Can I be your memory?_

And this was the most inaccurate part of their song. First of all, there was always a sense of fear between the two. Fear of going further, fear of trusting each other like they did.

And second, the feelings never disappeared. Deidara knew that Sasori would always be in his heart, no matter where he was. Sasori would always be Deidara's memory, and soon, when Deidara died, they would be together again and none of this would matter anymore.

For a split second, time froze. That single fleeting moment of art, that single fleeting moment of love...

The explosion, the climax of their relationship.

Deidara sang aloud for this last chorus, knowing Sasori would hear his prayer, not caring who heard:

"So get back, back, back to where we lasted,

Just like I imagined,

I could never feel this way.

So get back, back, back to the disaster,

My heart's beating faster,

Holding on to feel the same..."

Deidara's voice sounded beautifully throughout Akatsuki, throughout all the villages as he reminisced his times with Sasori. Sasori, his love.

Sasori, his memory.

The bird that had been longing to take flight had finally been let out of its glass cage, and Deidara sobbed. He couldn't sing any more, though he knew that Sasori still heard his lingering voice, wherever the puppet was. Tears continued to run down his soft cheeks as he opened his eyes (which had been closed for a while) and looked straight ahead, as if Sasori had been sitting in front of him all along.

_This may never start_

_We could fall apart_

_And I'd be your memory..._

_Lost your sense of fear_

_Feelings insincere_

_Can I be your memory?_

The last words of the song had long-ended by now, but Deidara was still crying. This was not the heart of a shinobi he possessed, the blond was at least willing to admit that. Despite this statement, it was a strong heart. A heart that had loved, and lost. A heart that had lived through the disaster and loved it all the way.

But Deidara would not go back. Though he wanted to, he knew he couldn't.

He would move forward, not with fear but with courage, and face the world for himself, the bird that had taken flight. And he would do it for Sasori.

"You will always be my memory, Sasori-Danna."

Schuweet, isn't it? I love this song...I was listening to the live version while I wrote this, I remember. XP Review/flame if you'd like, I don't mind either.


End file.
